a tree of text, of honor and respect.
year two-thousand and eleven, day eighty-eight
TED
presents
Dr. Jane Goodall
Doesn’t her last name say it all?
My first role model, and idol, since the 5th grade.
My inspiration to follow my purpose:
to further bridge the gap between humans and the rest of the
animal kingdom, of which we are a part. From her efforts we have gained a
once inconceivable depth of knowledge and understanding
of our species, and in our gratitude to her, we owe the ethical treatment of our planet,
and
every
thing
sustained
within it.
neglect
day thirty-one
i haven’t been writing in my blag every day like i told myself i was supposed to, but that’s because i also told myself i’m supposed to be enjoying every moment; living in the “now.” that doesn’t always include writing in my blag. hence the gap in updates. but i did write this on my phone’s notepad not too long ago on day twenty-seven.
we writhed and tangled and touched and giggled. we explored each others mouths with hunger. i lay admiring this live statue, with its carved abdomen and flesh that melted under my fingers. his pulse matched mine: in my chest, my throat, my mouth. every time a hair made its way into my mouth, i smiled to myself at the thought of being close enough to receive such gifts.
needless to say, i’m fucking living it up at the moment.
go me!
crutch
day eleven is now day twelve
ready for independence but not responsibility. ready to shower on my own, but not to get my own cereal bowl.
ready to stand, but not to fall.
not failure
day one hundred and twenty-six
i haven’t failed. i’ve simply been living my life, without documentation. i think i prefer experiencing it to describing it.
for now anyway.
acceptance is the goal for today.
mission accomplished.
mind-blown
day thirty-two
life feeds on life breeds life creates dimensions.
Escher was brilliant, and understood the universe in a way most people would choose to ignore, but i’d rather embrace.
watch yr dub step
i am giddy to walk around in my walker, like a child doing so for the first time. the soreness feels like productivity. the exhaustion feels like relief. damn, did i miss being tall.
things are looking up.
i am standing up.
happyhappyjoyjoy
bad girl
day nine becomes day ten
woe is me. i get stuck in love, which wouldn’t be such a bad thing if it weren’t so damn easy to get in but not out. i feel like alice when she greedily drank from the bottle in order to become the size of my pinky nail only to find out she left the key on the table. it feels like attempting to gain control is clutching that key as though your life depends on it. i keep growing & shrinking & growing & shrinking only to find that the key is jammed up my ass and i wonder why i’m not having all that much fun.
days
are blurring into nights and nights into days and dreams into “reality” and “reality” into enlightenment and i could go on for days blurring into nights. they need not numbers or borders or definitions or deadlines. i don’t care what the catalyst — anything that opens your mind to this extent should be legal, but to control; make that allow, make that understand, balance, i.e. moderation is an entirely different realm of “reality.” this reality is a gift, a curse, a journey, an adventure, an epic tale, a choice, a challenge, a movie, a dimension, a universe in the universe’s many layers of universes. layer after layer, page after page, door after door, portal after portal. hole after hole. consciousness after consciousness. this is a form of my consciousness, and your interpretation is a form of consciousness within your consciousness. if you don’t understand, that’s because i’m purposefully trying to confuse you, to see if those that get it will like it as much as i do. every choice is a direction, is a miracle, is a step, is a road, is a path, is a never-ending story. the only question is will you travel through it as “you?” or should i say what you are capable of in this reality? i should assume not. goosebumps turn into questions turn into chemicals turn into thoughts turn into memories. love is the word of the day, equality is the question of the day, peace is the goal of the century, travel is the journey of the millenium. to be continued.
symbolism is the game of the hour, of the minute, of the mind. it is a language of its own. it requires interpretation, is subject to interpretation, is interpretation.
thought equals creation
day seven
The following short film is described as
“…an attainable evolution into a world of architectural,
environmental, intellectual, elemental, and ecological fusion.
A place where all of our potential has been realized…”
though only within our creation of alternate dimensions of reality,
through the use of complexly simple computer programs.
Essentially technology has created yet another bubble within a bubble,
another universe within our universe,
making each and every one of us a God
within the universe of the mind.
Thought is creation.
Magic is nature. Nature is magic.
Use yours wisely.
per-severe
day six
it’s been a tough year so far, which i find ridiculous, seeming as how we’re only six days in.
following today’s appointment with one of my three surgeons, and perhaps the most important one, i find myself encouraged, motivated, & with hope.
i finally see that the pain & suffering will prove itself worthy when i can stand on my two feet again and feel pride, and more importantly, appreciation that words cannot describe. the day has yet to come and already, i feel grateful for even the mere possibility of walking again.
my life will never be the same after this experience. i will come out of this with strength i didn’t realize i could possibly possess. i feel weak and battered in the present, but not beaten.
not anymore.
blag 